Brunetina y sus listas

You know those days when you truly need a friend to pick you up, to hold your hand, to tell you how beautiful you are? Worry no more, my dear, here comes the answer to all your prayers!

Please pay attention to this list for all those not-so-merry days. You are more than welcome to pint it, copy it, share it or do whatever the hell needs to be done to make your day.

Here we go:

  1. It’s totally legit to feel like sh*t when you have your period/are about to get it.- Yes! You do not have to behave like one of those VS models on TV that dance merrily when they go to buy tampons to their nearest 7Eleven convenient store. I feel you, please be grumpy. Be whoever you need to be, the world will adapt (or not, but who the *F* cares).
  1. It’s totally legit to snooze your alarm clock in the morning (even more than once!).-  There you go! I said it. Yes, we all know how bad it is for your health and how you would be such a better person waking up with just the first alarm tone, but, do not feel the need to stick to those rules: the person who wrote them doesn’t believe in them either.
  1. It’s totally legit to fantasize about someone else having a boyfriend.- Honey, do not blame yourself for feeling a faint attraction towards that copyboy. He has a six-pack, he dresses like Ryan Gosling and he has the most brilliant of all smiles – plus, he brings you your fav breakfast sandwich every single day. So, read this: you are not a b*tch, you are just human. Relax.
  1. It’s totally legit to want to kill your roomie every now and then.- So, yes, we all loved Friends and we were completely appalled by how much they loved and understood each other. But this is the real world, my friend, so let’s face it: your roomie will do crazy stuff that will make you want to kill him/her. It’s ok, I totally get you. You are not mean; it’s called “real life”.
  1. It’s totally legit to cancel plans.- You had your best intention of going there and meeting your friends, but the day comes and you feel like just thinking about it would make you want to stick a gun to your head. Let me tell you a secret: you don’t have to go! But please try to make up a good excuse, you don’t want to break their hearts – they’re your friends after all, aren’t they?
  1. It’s totally legit to not be interested in detox plans/veganism/kale.- Oh, dear. Do you feel like that really matters? We all know that most of those diets are just a trend that will probably not stick (and, most of the time, is later discovered to be extremely unhealthy). So, eat your burger and forget about the world. Order some extra fries for me, pls!
  1. It’s totally legit to dislike Game of Thrones (or any other TV show, for that matter).- How many times have you heard “you don’t watch GoT?”. Yes, I see. Well, guess what: it doesn’t matter! Nobody cares, really. If you don’t watch that TV show or any other that is now “THE show”, do not worry: there will be others and I’m pretty sure you have other hobbies that make you a very interesting person to talk to all the same. Don’t fake interest, just be nice about it and change the topic. You will thank me later.
  1. It’s totally legit to not go to the gym.- So, everybody goes to the gym and has all their nice matchy-matchy clothes. But you couldn’t care less. You’re more of a run in the park person, or maybe a team sports person, or maybe just someone who likes to watch life go by from the couch. As Nike would wisely say: Just do it!
  1. It’s totally legit to listen to pop music.- In a world full of indies, you are not that person. You listen to great hits from the radio and know all the latest summer songs. You may feel like you are not worthy of your hipster friends respect, but you have mine. Come here; let me give you a hug. There you go: done! Listen to your stuff, it’s music and who cares what makes you happy.
  1. It’s totally legit to be angry sometimes (or fully mad).- You might be a nice, friendly, caring person. But nobody’s perfect (even though you do come close!). So you could be quite mad at your boss/boyfriend/sister/friend/brother/mum/dad/dog/karate teacher (chose as you please). And you can say it out loud. You do not have to pretend to be this sweet girl who is unable to feel the rage of a Northern warrior. No need for that, please let it all out, stop pretending and remember that stress will give you a lot more wrinkles than politely smiling for that person who doesn’t deserve it!
  1. It’s totally legit to feel ugly.- We are all goddesses, we are sexy, we are career-minded, we are mums, we are lovers, we are friends, we are cool, we are classy, we are sporty. Oh, well, but we can’t be that all 24/7, or can we? So if you woke up feeling fat and ugly and unstylish and like your hair just got in a fight with 60 cats – it’s more than normal. It’s just one of your days. Put you comfy clothes, order some nice greasy food (with a nice big ice cream for dessert) and re-watch Bridget Jones’s Diary. It’ll get better, I promise. Tomorrow will be another day.
  1. It’s totally legit to have your fridge empty.- Jamie Oliver made you think that you could cook delicious dinner plates in less than 30 minutes (was it 15??!), but, let’s be honest: that book has been sitting on your desk for what feels like a decade now. And the only edible things in your fridge are: half a can of Fanta, one tomato, 2 expired Greek yoghurts and a dry lemon. Do not feel like you have failed at adulthood: we all have, and we live nonetheless! Stick to your other virtues: doing your nails, maybe? You are perfect, do not let those TV stars get you down!
  1. It’s totally legit to not have amazing trips planned for your summer vacay.- You have been liking Insta-pics for a while: Malaysia, Thailand, Bali, Tanzania, Greece, East Coast, West Coast. And all you have planned for the summer is a family visit to your grandma’s cottage in the North. Well, let me tell you: you do not need to travel a thousand miles to have fun. Plus, national tourism is coming back! You are not a loser without plans, you are a trendsetter! People will envy you in a few months. Just wait and see. Trust me.
  1. It’s totally legit to change your mind.- Remember all you have read in this list? Well, you can forget it, rearrange it, blur it, delete it… do as you please. You may change your mind as many times as you want to because this is your life and only your rules matter. So do as please, choose your path, stick to it… and change it as many times as needed. There’s just one life: carpe diem!!

Brunetina se siente regular dejando el texto sólo en inglés, así que hace una pequeña versión reducida para los hispanohablantes que estén interesados:

  1. No pasa nada porque te sientas mal con la regla/a punto de tenerla
  2. No pasa nada porque necesites varias alarmas para despertarte
  3. No pasa nada porque te atraiga otro teniendo novio
  4. No pasa nada porque quieras matar a tu compi de piso
  5. No pasa nada porque quieras cancelar una cita
  6. No pasa nada porque te den igual los planes détox/el veganismo/la col verde
  7. No pasa nada porque no veas Juego de Tronos (u otras series)
  8. No pasa nada porque no vayas al gimnasio
  9. No pasa nada porque oigas música pop
  10. No pasa nada porque a veces te enfades
  11. No pasa nada porque te sientas fea
  12. No pasa nada por tener el frigo vacío
  13. No pasa nada porque no tengas unas vacaciones infarto programadas
  14. No para nada por cambiar de opinión

 

 

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